The 5 Stages of Drunkeness

THE FIVE STAGES OF DRUNKENNESS


Stage #1 -- Smart

This is when you suddenly become an expert on
every subject. Youknow all and greatly wish to
express this knowledge to anyone who
will listen.  At this stage you are also always
right. And of coursethe person you are talking with
is very wrong. You will talk for
hours trying to convince someone that you are right.
This makes for an interesting argument when both
parties are "smart". Two people talking,
in fact, arguing about a subject neither one
really knows anything about, but are convinced
that they are they complete authority on the
subject makes for great entertainment for those
get the opportunity to
listen in.

Stage #2 -- Handsome/Pretty

This is when you are convinced that you are the
 best looking person in the entire room and everyone
 is looking at you. You begin to wink at
perfect strangers and ask them to dance because of course
 they had been admiring you the whole evening. You are the
center of attention, and all
eyes are directed at you because you are the most beautiful
thing on the face of the earth.  Now keep in mind that
you are still smart, so you can
talk to this person who has been admiring you about
any and all subjects
under the sun.

Stage #3 -- Rich

This is when you suddenly become the richest person
in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar
 and put it on your bill because you surely
have an armored truck full of your money parked
behind the bar. You can also make bets in this stage.
Now of course you still know all, so you
will always win all your bets.  And you have no concern
 for how much money you bet because you have all the money
in the world. You will also begin to buy drinks for all
the people in the bar who are admiring you because you
are now the smartest, prettiest, and richest person on
the face of the earth.

Stage #4 -- Bulletproof

You can now pick fights with the people you have
been betting money with because you cannot be hurt by
anything. At this point you would go up to the boyfriend
of the woman who had been admiring your beautiful self all
 evening and challenge him to a battle of wits for money.
You have no worry about losing this battle of wits because
you know all, have all the money to cover this bet,
and you obviously win a fight that might
erupt if he looses.

Stage #5  -- Invisible

This is the final stage of drunkenness. 
At this point you can do absolutely anything because
no one can see you. You can get up and dance on a table;
you can strip down to your underwear, to impress the people
who have been admiring you all evening, because the rest
of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible
to the person whom you have picked a fight with earlier in the
evening. You can walk through the streets singing at the top
 of your lungs (because of course you are
still smart and know the tune perfectly) and no one will
think anything of it because they can't see you.
All your social inhibitions are gone.
You can do anything, because no one will know.

And you certainly won't remember !

Thanks NetScrap