Sunday, August 31, 2008

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Trolls and Barbie.... hmmmm

I'm not too sure how to feel about this picture.

Friday, August 29, 2008

The Nickel Trick

It would have been funnier if I'd done it first.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Its Cool...

It's cool...

their parents are dentists.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Legos.... lets be serious

very nice..

you've officially built the largest thing NOBODY cares about..

your check is in the mail.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Legal Question

Is this statutory rape???

thank you very much Geckotales.com

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during our commission of duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to your employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" as it is explained to you for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You wander around the building all day, shiftlessly seeking fault in others. You have a sharp dressed, useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.

Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation; however, I have a few parting thoughts:

When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation as I have consistently performed my duties and even more. The most you can say to hurt me is, "I prefer not to comment." To keep you honest, I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
I have all the passwords to every account on the system and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I will publish your "Favorites," which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not viewed favorably by the university administrations.
When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mother's b-day," you neglected to mention that you were going to take nude pictures of yourself in the mirror. Then, like the techno-moron you are, you forgot to erase them. Suffice it to say, I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle. I assure you that those photos are being kept in safe places pending your authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (And, for once, would you please try to use spellcheck? I hate correcting your mistakes.)

I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody and all of your twisted little repugnant obsessions will become public knowledge. Never f*ck with your systems administrator, Mr. Baker! They know what you do with all that free time!

Sincerely,

David Blocker

Network Administrator

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Dads of the Year

Way to go there Dads...

you win the official medal of Doucheness...

congrats!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

So Sick

Go America!

hahaha

Friday, August 22, 2008

Screw Snake on a Plane

This would be sooooo much more serious...

Imagine trying to breathe under water while simultaneously receiving the bear hug of your life!

impossible.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

I need this Tree

What do you call this????

is it a tree?

is it a chair?

is it the answer to my prayers???

YES

Some of the most racist toy you've ever seen..
from the Toy Zone.com

1. Golly Wog

An English toy based on a 1885 book with a character of the same name. Many people still believe that the toy is a relic of an earlier time when racism against black people was blatant. Recently the Supermodel Naiomi Cambell assaulted airline staff after reportedly being called a ‘Golliwog supermodel’

2. Chop Suey Specs

Made famous recently on Reddit - these spectacles manage to both amuse and offend at the same time.
Thanks to: 1990 Toys

3. Jogo Dos Grooms

A Portuguese game that involved shooting black soldiers with anything you could lay your hands on.

4. Darkey in a watermelon

The advert describes the toy: “Upon opening the watermelon which is made of papier mache, is found a little pickaninany, southern darky with cloth diaper fasted with miniature safety pin and small nursing bottle. His white eyes flash the whole face indicated perfect happiness.”

Thanks to: http://www.flickr.com

5. Dapper Dan the Coon Jigger

Not to be confused with the not-so-racist “Dapper Dan” that is currently available at Dapper Dan

6. Always did spise a mule

This was a mechanical bank popular in the late nineteenth century. The bank portrays an African American man riding a mule that, when pushed, throws the rider over it’s head as the coin goes into the bank. Displayed a violence against blacks that was acceptable at the time, and was also thought of as “fun”.

Thanks to: http://antiques-internet.com

7. Hitler’s Limousine

Whilst not as obviously racist as the rest of the toys it ain’t something your is kid is going to take to “show and tell”

Thanks to: www.tommcmahon.net

8. Barack Obama Sock Puppet

Racist toys are not just the play things of our grandparents. This monkey sock puppet of American Presidential hopeful “Barack Obama” was only released last month! (thankfully it’s no longer available for sale)

Thanks to: http://nymag.com